


Connection

by MissRomanceJunkie



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sentinels & Guides, Alternate Universe - Sentinels and Guides Are Known, Angst, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, Domestic Avengers, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Romance, Sentinel/Guide, Spirit Animals, Spirit World
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-09 16:50:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8900137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissRomanceJunkie/pseuds/MissRomanceJunkie
Summary: Steve’s not your typical Guide and Guide rights have come a long way since Dr. Erskine had to sneak him into the Rebirth program.True Sentinels are rare, but Anthony Stark is definitely one, and no one feels safe around a potentially violent hedonist like Stark.Only sometimes, Steve thinks the isolation is wearing on Tony, since even Bruce, with his Other Guy, isn’t quite easy around someone who can sense every emotion in the air that someone else is feeling.Slowly, Steve decides to do something to break that isolation.[Written for the 2016 Cap-IM Holiday Exchange, summary closely adapted from the prompt]





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AngeNoir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngeNoir/gifts).



> I really wanted to do this awesome prompt justice and to be honest, I could have easily written another 20K for it but alas, time constraints.
> 
> Just so we’re clear, we’re ignoring AoU and CA:CW. Everything else (i.e. Bucky’s presence) will be explained in due course.
> 
> Enjoy! :)

**Prologue**

When Steve was a child, he’d dreamed of slaying of dragons and saving damsels. He would stay up all night imagining grand adventures filled with danger and magic and heroes, the images playing in technicolor across his mind’s eye clearer than any movie hall. He knew such things were only a fantasy, that such extraordinary ideas couldn’t possibly exist, but he had been so sure that he was meant to do something meaningful with his life. All he had wanted on those cold nights when the aching pain his chest wouldn’t let him sleep was to protect people.

At fourteen, life had tried to shatter those dreams forever.

Steve’s body had always been frail, ‘so unlike his heart’ his ma used to say. She’d always told him that just because his body wasn’t strong didn’t mean that he was weak, that strength was about more than what people could see.

Steve hadn’t believed her but she was his mother and so he had nodded and smiled, loath to see anything but a smile on her face.

So the facts of his life meant that he’d always known that his body was something he would have to overcome in order to make a difference in the world, the way he’d yearned to. He should have guessed that it would be something else entirely that would force him to change his plans.

He still remembered that day like it was yesterday, clearer than most of his other pre-ice nap memories now...

~~~

It was three days after his fourteenth birthday and Steve really didn’t want to get out of bed. It had been so long since he’d felt this warm. The thought made him frown, the warmth made no sense. His ratty curtains were awful for keeping in the heat and besides, his room was on the wrong side of the house to capture the morning sunshine. When Steve opened his eyes, he thought he must still be dreaming but closing and reopening them changed nothing. Neither did pinching himself, the small hurt sinking deep into his skinny arm.

Steve looked around and came to the only conclusion that made any sense, fueled by the books upon books he’d read cover to cover hundreds of times.

Steve had gone to sleep in his bedroom and woken up in a world that was not his own. Or rather, he was still in his own bed, the room around him was still the one he’d helped his ma decorate in the house he’d lived in his whole life... Except the floor was littered with leaves and covered in moss. Thick tree trunks rose out of the floorboards, _through the floorboards_ , as if the floor wasn’t there at all. Or the trees weren’t. The distinction was hazy in Steve’s mind and he quickly decided that the detail wasn’t one he should be focused on right now. Steve could hear birds somewhere nearby but it was the sound of a stream that finally drew him out of bed, his legs moving before he gave it any conscious thought.

He descended the stairs, wondering faintly where his ma was but too enthralled by the sights and smells the forest was exuding to pay the passing thought much mind. He ran a hand across one of the trees and the bark was rough beneath his fingertips. The water turned out not to be a stream but a fountain, a natural spring pushed up through a rock pedestal that stood firm through the centre of their small dining table.

Next to the font, somehow laid out on top of the table, was a sleeping wolf with thick grey fur that must have been almost twice the size of Steve. As soon as he set eyes on the animal, he knew he wouldn’t be able to tear his gaze away for anything.

~~~

Steve remembered thinking that he should feel afraid but no fear had come. Not then and not in all the years since.

He’d woken to his ma shouting his name and he’d found out later that he’d been walking between planes for hours. The doctors had sat them down and patiently explained that Steve was an early bloomer, that this was probably an indication that he would be a great asset to a powerful Sentinel one day.

A great asset.

The doctors had told him that he was a Guide and that night, his Wolf had curled around him as he’d cried himself into a dreamless sleep.

Guides weren’t meant to be heroes.

Guides were just the support system that nature had provided to stabilise Sentinels, the real heroes. Sentinels were fierce and powerful, their senses enhanced and their minds and bodies superior to normal humans. They were the ones that excelled in careers like firefighting, police work and the army. Others became surgeons, inventors or scientists.

Steve had never thought for a moment that he would register as one of the Enhanced. He’d always figured he was too frail, to sickly, to ever be as strong as a Sentinel or as dependable as a Guide.

Of course if he’d emerged as a Sentinel, things would have been different. Everything he’d wanted from life would have still been possible, would have even been _expected_ of him.

He would have been happy.

Guides were important, yes, but they were shadows that hovered in the background of important moments, ready to provide the emotional and spiritual tether that a Sentinel needed to control their abilities when they became overwhelming.

Guides themselves were well known to be absent minded creatures. They often visited the spirit world they could conjure around them at will, walking between the worlds as Steve had done that first time. They were also very attuned to the emotions of others and where their high empathy was a boon to Sentinels, to the Guides themselves it was difficult to remain closed to the truths that surrounded them when they were so visible in the form of a person’s spirit animal.

It was just a well known fact that Guides needed to be cherished and protected so that they could be beneficial companions to Sentinels. Guides just weren’t meant to do great things and that was a fact of life that had been drummed into Steve over and over again his whole life.

Luckily, Steve had never been the type to give up the fight before it had even started.

The following morning he’d picked himself back up and decided that making his dream a reality would never have been easy in the first place. Society’s view of what a Guide was capable of was just another obstacle he was going to have to overcome. It wasn’t long after that that he met Bucky, then there was a war on and then project rebirth happened. Dr Erskine had had faith in him, he’d been the first person to look at him and not even register his Guide status as a problem. It had actually been the complete opposite. Much to Steve’s surprise, the good Doctor had believed that Steve’s gifts would help him retain a strong sense of self after the transformation, that he'd be less likely to lose himself and therefore reject the serum. After he’d bent the rules to their breaking point to sneak Steve into the program alongside the best and brightest Sentinels and normals the army had to offer, Steve had made it his mission to prove him right.

The rest was history, literally.

Steve became a super-soldier and was finally able to fight for his country, once his supervisors had eventually seen beyond his Guide status that is, meaning after he’d saved Bucky and the rest of the 107th regiment almost single handedly.

Of course that was then, before Bucky fell, before the ice, before The Avengers.

Before Tony Stark.

This story is about now.

~~~***~~~***~~~

**Connection**

“Hey, sleepy head. Thought we were gonna have to send a search party out for ya. Everything alright? You never miss breakfast,” Bucky said from his seat beside Sam at the breakfast bar.

Steve watched as their spirit animals, an Arctic Fox for Bucky and a Prairie Falcon for Sam, poked and prodded each other behind their humans’ chairs. It would be easy to believe the two men were old adversaries from the way they constantly bickered with each other but in reality, they’d become good friends in the month since Bucky had turned up at the Tower, finally ready accept help. They couldn’t hide their affection for each other from Steve though.

Spirit animals were a representation of all that a person was and would be in their lives, there were no falsehoods in their behaviour. How could there be? A person’s soul can’t lie. There was a reason Guides made great therapists, although Sam had always done a stellar job without the added benefit of Steve’s talents.

“Wasn’t sleeping, I was running.”

With the faces his friends were giving him, no one would have blamed Steve for thinking he’d grown a second head or two.

“In the rain? What time did you even head out?” Bucky teased at the same time as Sam said, “You sure you’re alright, Steve?”

He couldn’t blame his friends’ for being suspicious. He imagined there were perfectly lovely people in the world who enjoyed running in the rain, it was just that Steve wasn’t one of them. He would always do what was necessary in the field, that went without saying, but when it came to his own down time, he’d learned to be more forgiving and usually trained in the Tower’s gym when the weather was less than amicable.

“Quit it will you, I wanted something more interesting to look at than three concrete walls and my own face reflected back at me. That’s all.”

“Uhuh.” Steve didn’t know who made the sound but he let it go regardless, much more interested in scanning the the room for the rest of his teammates.

Bruce was curled up reading a book in the armchair he’d apparently claimed the day he’d moved in. The Great Horned Owl that was perched on the headrest behind him looked just as comfortable, his feathers all fluffed up as he dozed. It was a pretty funny sight considering the size of the bird.

JARVIS had told him that Bruce had mostly stuck to himself at first, at least until Natasha had moved in and managed to draw him out of his shell a bit. It had been a surprise, really, to find out that he and Tony didn’t do science things together. When Steve had overheard Tony offer Bruce the use of his state of the art labs it wouldn’t have taken a Guide to see the excitement behind the offer.

Natasha’s spirit animal never showed itself to Steve, something that he put down to the intense training the Russian must have been put through in her life. It wasn’t something they’d spoken about but then Natasha wasn’t a Guide so maybe she just couldn’t tell the difference. She knew who she was, what her soul was made of, that was the important thing.

Besides, Clint was her best friend. If any discussion on the topic was going to happen, it was going to happen with him.

The archer was also a Guide, although he’d once told Steve that he barely registered as the lowest rank. He’d moved in the same day as Natasha and had been the one to really help Steve to understand the changes that had occurred in society since he’d been frozen. SHIELD had given him plenty of reading information on the subject of course, but it was all facts and statistics. Clint didn’t just tell him what life was really like for a Guide in the current time but also about how the unwritten etiquette had changed between Guides and Sentinels and how Normals viewed them, what was expected of them.

Clint had been the one to really help Steve adjust to this new world because there was an awful lot that had changed in it.

Turned out that as stronger Sentinels started to emerge, the problems Sentinels faced as a whole could no longer be trivialised or ignored and therefore, neither could the invaluable stability a Guide could offer them. Sentinels were just as valuable as always but now, Guides were recognised as just as important and more than that, they were seen as vital to the usefulness of Sentinels, raising their status in the world’s eyes. After a few isolated incidents where high ranking Sentinels had lost control without a Guide around, Sentinels started to be seen as volatile and the strongest were labelled as dangerous.

The tables had changed almost overnight and suddenly Sentinels were viewed as the weaker side of those who were labelled Enhanced and Guides, the stronger.

Steve had been happy to learn that Guides were no longer viewed as just tools to support a Sentinel’s greatness but really things weren’t actually any _better_. There was still an unbalance that shouldn’t exist and the worst thing was that Sentinels and Guides themselves weren’t the ones tipping the scales. It was the general populace who judged the Enhanced with foggy vision as only a person from the outside looking in could have.

Steve had enjoyed the years he’d spent learning how to anchor a Sentinel, how to give them the peace they so desperately needed to maintain control over their senses, no matter how much he’d wished to be seen as someone who could make a difference all by himself. The truth was that Sentinels and Guides needed each other just as much as each other. They were two sides of a coin, neither one stronger or weaker than the other, and yet somehow, Sentinels were now the ones suffering society’s presumptions and constrictions. To Steve, that meant things still weren’t good enough.

Clint’s spirit animal was a Hawk, of course, although Steve had never been able to identify the breed. Then again, he’d often thought that Clint should be in a category all of his own so if his spirit animal was a mismatch of different species, Steve really wouldn’t be surprised.

Natasha and Clint were sharing one of the sofas watching some TV show Sam had assured Steve was total trash over the spluttered disagreements of Clint. Thor was off world for a month visiting his homeland so it was bound to be a little quieter than usual at this time in the morning but Steve had been hoping…

“You looking for anyone in particular there, punk?” Bucky smirked.

Steve’s head snapped around to Bucky but his friend only grinned at him, wide like the cheshire cat with a year’s worth of cream at his paws, much to Sam’s amusement.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Bucky chuckled as Sam said, “Didn’t say a word.”

Steve and Bucky stared each other out for a moment until Natasha snorted from the sidelines and broke the spell.

“It’s just… I thought Tony was back today was all. Wanted to know how the conference went.”

In truth, that was why he’d gone on an extra long run that morning and subsequently never made it to breakfast. He wouldn’t have gotten anything done while keeping one eye on the door, waiting for his friend’s return so he’d figured he might as well stretch out his run, get home just as Tony was due back. Except he’d gotten lost in his thoughts and, well, however far you run out, you’ve always got to come back.

The friend thing was actually a recent development. Tony, despite what the rest of the world may think, didn’t really socialise very much. Bruce, Thor, Clint and Natasha had already been living in the Tower when Steve and Sam had moved in after the fall of SHIELD four months ago. Tony had once again extended an invitation and Natasha had advised them to accept it. Really, they’d had nowhere else to go but moving into the Tower had quickly proven itself to be the best decision Steve had made this side of the turn of the century. It was only in the past couple of weeks though that Tony had tentatively started spending time with Steve.

The look on Tony’s face when Steve had asked him if he’d consider joining him for coffee was one he couldn’t shake from his mind. Pure, unadulterated surprise had coloured Tony’s cheeks just a touch before the genius had clamped down on the reaction, his masks going back up in the time between heartbeats. He hadn’t quite managed to hide the smile that had flickered at the corner of his lips though and the Coyote curled up under the workbench had yipped in happiness, not that Tony would have known that.

Tony may be a Sentinel but only Bonded Sentinels could see their spirit animals.

“His flight was delayed, he should be back in the next hour or so though,” Bruce said, pulling Steve out of his thoughts.

“Isn’t that the kind of thing that having his own jet is supposed to prevent?” Clint asked and  Sam rolled his eyes at Steve like it wasn’t the first time the conversation had taken this turn.

“Unfortunately,” a very familiar voice said from the doorway, “the weather doesn’t discriminate. Fortunately for me, I took along a suit. Seriously though, you’d think Thor was throwing a tantrum with the storm that’s going on out there.”

“Only you would be dumb enough to fly an _electronic_ suit of armour through a _lightning_ storm, Stark,” Clint said.

“You think the storm could be magical?” Natasha asked but Tony just shook his head.

“Don’t think so, just a result of some unusually warm weather. Nasty though.”

“I’m sure whatever inventions you’re rushing back to could have waited, Tony,” Sam said with a frown.

“Hey, my genius can neither be contained nor put on a schedule, Wilson. Just ask Pepper. God knows the woman has tried.”

Natasha had started a quiet conversation with Bruce that even Steve couldn’t hear although Tony could probably pick up their soft words easily. Clint was exchanging barbs with Bucky and Sam while grabbing a plate of the food Steve only just now realised had been left on top of the warm stove. With everyone’s attention elsewhere, Steve saw Tony move to slip away without ever passing the threshold into the kitchen.

“You alright, Tony?” Steve asked, an urgent need to keep the man from leaving near overwhelming him. His Grey Wolf appeared at his side and sat, watching Tony with piercing eyes. Steve couldn’t see Tony’s Coyote but he wasn’t concerned, the canine had an affection for lurking in the shadows and once he didn’t want to be spotted, you were hard pressed to find him. The Coyote never disappeared though, like Steve’s Grey Wolf did every now and then, and he never strayed to far from Tony. “How was the conference?”

“Same old, same old really.”

“You or the conference?” Steve teased and was rewarded with a deep chuckle that sent shivers through Steve. It wasn’t like he was unaware of how gorgeous Tony was, Steve had been fighting the rush of endorphins that seeing the man gave him right from their first meeting. He hadn’t failed to notice how Tony’s sheer presence called out to Steve either. Ignoring their rocky start though, Tony had never given any indication of wanting to date, let alone Bond with, anyone.

Possibility. That’s what crackled between them and although Tony had to feel it too, he was choosing to ignore it, which told Steve everything he needed to know. Still, that wasn’t going to stop Steve from enjoying the smiles he managed to draw out of Tony.

Before Steve could attempt at pulling a blush out of the Sentinel, Clint’s cry of outrage pierced the air, causing Tony to flinch bodily and Steve to wince in sympathy. Steve took a step towards Tony without a second thought but Tony’s hard look and slight shake of the head stopped him in his tracks. He could feel the embarrassment colouring his cheeks but Tony just smiled a little, one of his honest ones that rarely saw the light of day.

“No! Bad mutt!” Clint said as he slapped Bucky’s hand away from his plate of bacon.

“You really should let me help ya out there, Hawkeye,” Bucky drawled, “I don’t have to work it all off like you do.”

Clint opened and shut his mouth a few times, searching for words, but it was Tony who spoke first. “Oh yeah Barnes, feeding you would practically be a selfish act for us mere mortals.”

Most of the room laughed but Bucky smirked, not at all phased by Tony’s words. “Mortal eh? If you say so.”

By the continued sounds of cheer and good-natured ribbing as the rest of the Avengers joined in on the food versus fitness debate, Steve figured they’d all missed Tony’s reaction. Even Clint, who should still be able to feel the emotional shift in Tony’s Coyote no matter his rank, didn’t seem to notice the stillness that had fallen over both human and animal instantaneously. It looked like the Coyote had been slowly edging around (or was that towards?) the other spirit animals but was now retreating just as hesitantly back to his human. The Coyote had the strange habit of suddenly appearing next to something or someone without ever seeming to have made the move towards it, like you couldn’t tell that was where he was heading until he got there. Considering they were the actions of Tony’s soul…

And then Tony smiled and joined in with the laughter going on around him and Steve’s stomach turned.

“You got me there I guess,” Tony said eventually in response to Bucky’s original words. “Anyways, I’m heading down to the workshop to get on with those works of genius I just risked life and limb for so don’t panic if you don't see me for a few days.” The words rang hollow with Steve but Tony left before Steve could stop him this time and as much as Steve wanted to follow him, he could _feel_ the walls Tony had put up in his mind. Tony would only brush off his concerns right now and he was never receptive to Guidance unless it was absolutely necessary.

Tony’s own happiness had never fallen into that category from what Steve could tell.

“You sure you’re alright Steve? I know you can’t catch a cold or anything but you do look a bit pale.”

“Yeah. Yeah I’m fine Buck. Thanks though.”

Bucky watched him, searched his eyes for who knows what before nodding once and returning to his shoddy attempts at theft.

“Just take it, jeez,” Clint said after a losing a few more pieces of meaty goodness to the Breakfast Bandit, pushing his plate towards the very pleased ex-assassin.

“Knew you loved me,” Bucky smirked into his stolen food and even Steve had to chuckle at the horrified look taking over Clint’s face.

“In your dreams maybe,” Clint retorted before making to stand. “Think I’m gonna go test out Stark’s new firing range some more. You busy this morning, Cap?”

“Not really.” His mission for the day had simply been ‘welcome Tony home’, which he’d actually failed to do now that he thought about it.

“Great, you fancy a friendly targeting competition? I happen to know that Stark’s set up a program for you and your shield too.”

“If your training sessions are friendly, you’re doing it wrong,” Natasha said as she calmly turned a page of the women’s magazine she’d picked up at some point. The fact there was one in the Tower at all meant that Natasha had actually gone out and _bought one_.

Steve was by no means immune to Natasha’s deadly aura and the idea of her visiting a paper stand was frankly terrifying.

“A lesson I had to learn the hard way,” Sam muttered and it took a second for Steve to realise Sam wasn’t actually answering his thoughts.

“Sorry Clint, think I’m going to give the punching bags downstairs a run for their money instead.” Steve said, deciding he wasn’t really up for company right now after all, even if Clint would have been a great distraction for his wayward mind. “Maybe tomorrow?”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll be down there for a while if you change your mind.”

Steve left right after Clint, giving a quick wave to the rest of the gang as he went.

He shouldn’t dwell on things, he knew that. He tended to overthink things or just think himself into a hole that he then had to take drastic measures to climb out of but he couldn’t stop his mind from unerringly turning back to Tony all the same. As he got changed, strapped up his hands and started stretching, Steve thought that his mind often went back to Tony nowadays.

If you didn’t know what you were looking for, you’d never guess that Tony was one of the most powerful Sentinels on the planet. He’d been born just as the world started changing for the Enhanced. At least when Steve was young, the state of the world had only meant a lack of options and constant underestimation of his abilities. Steve couldn’t even begin to imagine how scary it must have been for Tony, growing up at a time when even as a child he would have been feared for the abilities he would develop, for the idea that Tony wouldn’t be able to control them. That was bound to mess with any child’s mind, let alone Tony, who by all accounts had not had the most supportive of parents, to put it lightly.

Steve hadn’t noticed it at first. The sharpness of people’s fear had dulled slightly, become a more subtle thing that was built into the very foundations of everyday life. Eventually Steve realised that was far worse.

High ranking Sentinels, what many people called True Sentinels, were actually very rare despite what most news outlets would have you believe. Steve only knew of two himself. One was the King of a country called Wakanda, a man Steve hadn’t met personally but who’d had some kind of classified contact with SHIELD during the months Steve had lived at their headquarters. The other one was Tony.

Because of their rarity, Steve shouldn’t have been surprised at the vigor at which the media hounded every move the known True Sentinels made and none were as visible as Tony Stark. The papers seemed to both love and hate him. On the one hand, they praised his research into clean energy and his dedication to protecting the people of the world through both his work as an Avenger and his company’s humanitarian efforts. On the other, they stirred up fear and animosity by drawing attention to Tony’s increasing power through his armour and his ever growing influence over both the business and political world. There was also his well documented hedonistic history, although that line of slander had been given little ammunition in the past few years.

The most damaging thing, though, was that there was always, _always_ a part of any article written about Tony that linked all of that to his Sentinel status, along with ridiculous lines like ‘could this be what tips the billionaire over the edge’ or ‘how can you expect a drunk not to be overwhelmed by his senses’ or their go-to favourite, ‘what we have to consider is what will happen if he loses control’, where the ‘if’ was put forth in such a way that it was heavily implied to be a ‘when’, like Tony losing control was an inevitability and everyone was just waiting to see how bad the fallout will be.

Steve wasn’t naive, he knew the risks that accompanied being a Sentinel, just as he knew the risks that he himself had to deal with as a Guide, but there was nothing inevitable about succumbing to them. Tony wasn’t just a strong Sentinel, he was a strong man. He’d had to be to survive as long as he had, through what he had, and there was no way Tony would ever allow himself to hurt an innocent person by neglecting the steps a Sentinel could take to help prevent sensory overload.

True Sentinels, like their lower ranking brethren, were stronger and faster than Normals and Guides (apart from Steve but then he was a special case), their further enhanced senses also came with all sorts of perks in combat situations or even for criminal activities but it wasn’t really any of those things that put fear into the everyday Joe on the street. It wasn’t the thought of a Sentinel using their strength against them or their enhanced hearing to steal secrets or their enhanced smell to detect who they’d been sleeping with in order to blackmail them that turned dislike into fear.

Yes, they thought True Sentinels dangerous but that was more because the governments and militaries of the world saw them as such and told the people that’s what they were. For the average person, what it came down to was that with those enhanced senses, a True Sentinel could detect the emotions of a person and there wasn’t a person alive that didn’t want to hide what they felt at some point in their lives.

Guides could see the truths of a person’s soul and yet because it was harder to understand what that entailed unless you were a Guide, it was Sentinels who bore the brunt of the fear. Humans were creatures of emotion, led by their hearts over their heads time and time again. To know that someone could come along and read what you were feeling at any given moment, someone you didn’t even know who could take such an intimate thing from you… That was why people believed the things the papers printed about Sentinels, about Tony. That was why he was feared.

Steve hadn’t been aware of any of that until meeting the Avengers. It was only after Clint’s version of educating him to the modern world that he’d begun noticing those things. He’d been blinded by grief and his own self absorption but once he’d started seeing the world again, he couldn’t stop seeing the mess it was in.

When he finally noticed the distance the Avengers kept between themselves and Tony, he’d thought the rest of the Avengers believed the propaganda the papers put out into the world about Tony but that never really rang true. His friends were too good at what they did and too well versed in how the world worked to ever judge someone without forming their own opinion of them first.

Then he’d wondered if they just didn’t get on with Tony. Either his sense of humour rubbed them the wrong way or they didn’t have much in common besides Avenging but as Steve got to know everyone more, he could see what great partners in crime Clint and Tony would be, how Tony and Bruce’s love of science ran as deep as each other’s. Tony and Natasha were more difficult since they’d had almost as rocky a start as Steve himself had had with the genius but they both had a thing for weapons, for small, concealable weapons to be specific and Steve could easily imagine them pouring over schematics together.

Thor was the only one who had never hesitated to pat Tony on the back or pull him over to play a round of Mario Kart but even though the Asgardian had a floor of his own in the Tower like everyone else, he spent most of his time on earth with Jane. Even Sam fit perfectly into their group when he’d only ever met Natasha before moving in and yet somehow it still felt like Tony was the one sat on the outside, tethered to the team only by mutual heroism and Tony’s landlord status.

Things were comfortable at the Tower, friendly between the Avengers but no matter how much he tried, Steve had trouble convincing Tony to join in. He succeeded occasionally though and Steve took that as permission to keep on trying to get Tony to leave his workshop and spend time with the team. Tony was never rude or cold, he was just… cordial. Never really fully engaging in the moments that built up friendship within the group. That morning was probably the most himself Tony had ever been with them as a group, he’d almost been relaxed even if he hadn’t stuck around for very long.

Meeting Tony for the first time had been incredible and infuriating in equal measure. A Sentinel of such power had called to Steve like nothing ever before and since Steve was a high ranking Guide himself, they’d been pulled to each other immediately. However, and despite their natures being predetermined to compliment each other, Steve and Tony had taken an instant dislike to one another. Too much shared history and too many expectations, Steve had determined later on and with the added benefit of hindsight.

Steve smiled about it now. He’d always been so ridiculously _happy_ when they’d fought because Tony had never treated him as anything but capable of defending himself. Even as they’d slung insults at each other on the helicarrier, there’d been a part of Steve that had relished it. He’d spent the time since coming out of the ice in a kind of limbo, constantly waiting for who knew what. To wake up maybe. To go home. Then suddenly there was Tony, showing no mercy in his verbal attacks, and finally Steve felt like he was alive, like he was really here in the twenty-first century. Like he had a future and Tony Stark was the one who showed that to him.

So it was far from surprising that Steve felt a large measure of gratitude towards the man, as well as a great deal of respect and what could only be described as awe at the brilliance of the man’s inventions and his repeated displays of tenacity. Steve could appreciate stubbornness, he’d certainly had plenty of experience with it himself.

Strangely, or not so strangely considering how much of Steve’s life had been affected by his oldest friend, Bucky’s return had been the spark that really made Steve see how isolated Tony was. Bucky had turned up on the Tower’s doorstep three months after Steve had moved in holding a handwritten offer of residence at Avengers Tower, courtesy of the building’s owner and co-team leader of the Avengers, Tony Stark.

Tony had refused to listen to Steve’s words of thanks, he’d just given him a list of therapists and an all-access pass to his memory alteration technology.

Steve still had no idea how Tony had tracked Bucky down and if Bucky knew, he wasn’t talking.

Once Bucky had moved into the Tower, he’d been accepted with open arms and a sarcastic tongue and after that, Steve decided that he’d had enough. There was a hollow bubble that surrounded Tony and somehow Steve knew that it wasn’t one of his making. Why would Tony have taken the time to find and encourage Bucky to come to the Tower if he didn’t care about him, if he didn’t care about the team, about Steve. Steve had tried inviting Tony to plenty of group activities at that point but it was in that moment that Steve became determined to befriend Tony.

He loved Bucky like a brother but he was tired of watching an amazing man like Tony sit on the sidelines in isolation. Watching Bucky be so easily accepted into the fold had just made it clear to Steve that what was going on between Tony and the team was wrong.

Steve found proof for his theory that Tony wasn’t the one keeping his distance when getting Tony to interact with him one on one turned out to be a lot easier than he’d ever thought it would be. In the couple of weeks before Tony set off for his conference, Tony had gone for coffee with him twice in the city and both times, Tony had let Steve see more of himself than he had done back at the Tower when the other Avengers were around. Tony had taken him to two different coffee shops that he seemed to frequent and whose other patrons paid them no mind. There’d only been one incident with a reporter outside of one of the buildings who wouldn’t buzz off after Tony had put on his press smile and let him take a few photos.

Steve had been surprised at how strong the urge to wrap his hand around Tony’s wrist was, not to restrain or provide Guidance, but to comfort Tony because the reporter’s vile questions had been rude and disrespectful. He hadn’t though, but only because it would have fueled the idiot. The last thing he wanted was to give tomorrow’s papers ammunition.

‘Captain America came to Tony Stark’s aid as the Sentinel teetered on the edge!’

Steve didn’t even try to suppress his shudder.

Literally shook out of his thoughts, Steve realised he’d gravitated to the punching bag Tony had set up for him, one made to withstand his strength and Steve felt no need to stop pounding on it now that he he’d become aware of doing so. His Grey Wolf paced behind the bag opposite him, ears forward and teeth flashing as he let out a snarl that would scare even the most hardened of hunters.

That was how Clint found him, breathing heavily and dripping with sweat as Steve tried his best to put his fist through an innocent piece of exercise equipment.

“Hey, woah there. I just came to check you were alright, you’ve been down here a few hours. Looks like I made the right call. What’s eating you?” Clint asked, not hesitating at all in the face of Steve’s obvious bad mood. The archer walked straight over to the bench to the side of Steve with his usual swagger and laid out on his back.

“Nothing,” Steve said, trying to shake off his anger as he grabbed the towel Clint had knocked off and wiped himself down. Anger wasn’t going to get him anywhere. Steve believed that the Avengers’ minds could be changed with time but a confrontation right now over the way Tony was treated wouldn’t help that cause.

“Really, that’s what you’re going with?” Clint’s Hawk swooped low over Steve’s head and the Grey Wolf snapped at the air as the bird swung around towards him, walking the line between playful and irritated. Steve appreciated Clint’s care, his easy friendship, but even Clint, a fellow Guide, had ostracised Tony.

Guides needed connections, exposure to people and their emotions, to the spirits that manifested around them. Otherwise they were in danger of being pulled into the spirit world and becoming lost there. Sentinels also needed connections but in their case it was because those human connections helped keep their shields strong against sensory overload which could sweep them away into a coma they may never wake from. Sometimes that happened violently for the Sentinel and the people around them, sometimes it was quiet, a candle flickering before finally giving into the darkness.

Clint should know how valuable human contact was to Tony, especially when he wasn’t Bonded to a Guide. Clint wasn’t strong enough to give Tony the support he needed long term, even if he was willing to provide it and it was clear that beyond necessity on the field, he was not, but he should have at least been helping Tony maintain his mental barriers as much as he could. It was the least he should have been doing as Tony’s teammate, way before Steve had moved into the Tower.

Steve cursed himself up and down for not noticing how alone Tony had been all this time, even when he was surrounded by people.

Steve knew it would be a long and arduous battle to change the way Sentinels were viewed again, to find the balance that was needed. He had every faith that it could and would be accomplished but that would likely be decades from now and wouldn’t help lift the burden of sorrow Steve had so vividly seen weighing down Tony Stark’s shoulders.

Steve had fought enough battles in his lifetime. He knew there were people already fighting this one so instead of joining them, he would leave it in their hands, just this once. Steve couldn’t do everything by himself, that was what he’d learned from becoming an Avenger. The thought of helping Tony didn’t feel like a struggle though, nor did it feel like a duty, as it seemed to be to Clint the solitary time the archer had been required to ground Tony in the field after the villain of the week had targeted a child who had lost track of his mom in the chaos.

In the privacy of Steve’s mind, it was easy for him to admit the glee he’d felt when he’d realised Tony didn’t calm with Clint the way he did with Steve. Logically, Steve knew a large part of that was down to the difference between his and Clint’s ranks but Steve grew up being taught that it was more to do with compatibility than rank and the thought that he and Tony were compatible had warmed him to a degree that had definitely been inappropriate. Of course, guilt had come soon afterwards at the thought of Tony suffering needlessly.

A hunched Coyote filled his mind, slinking back towards the doorway and Steve knew he was an idiot. He should have gone after Tony earlier that morning.

Perhaps that had been Tony finally reaching out. He’d been away for a week, surrounded by people who didn’t know or care about him in the least. People that judged and feared him. Tony had flown his suit through a storm to get home. Had it really been for his inventions? Steve doubted it, should have doubted it then but Tony was so good at hiding what he felt. Even his spirit animal, a Coyote, was a survivor. Wily and resourceful, he would know when to hide in the shadows to keep a Guide from knowing Tony’s truths. If Steve was right, Tony had opened himself up to his teammates that morning and had been inadvertently shot down by careless words that made him feel even more alone.

_‘Mortal eh? If you say so.’_

Tony should have been able to read the humour with which Bucky had said those words, the affection even, since all the signs pointed to Bucky knowing about Steve’s developing feelings for the Sentinel, however one-sided they may be. But if Tony’s shields were failing, if he was struggling to syphon his sensory information it could have slipped past. Really, if Tony was nervous about speaking with them all, it could have been enough to distract him from getting an emotional read on Bucky. Hell, for all Steve knew, Tony could have been trying not to use that ability at all.

Steve had thought the best way to help Tony was to befriend him himself, to give him as much immediate, initial support as he could before trying to bring him into the Avengers’ fold as he should have been in the beginning.

He’d been wrong. There was no longer a doubt in his mind that Tony wanted more from them all, wanted friendship and support at the very least, maybe family, maybe love.

“Why doesn’t Tony join us on movie nights?” Steve asked, surprising Clint who had apparently been happy to doze off while Steve had been internally rambling. The question was said with more force than the words implied and Clint frowned as he sat up slowly, mulling over his answer for a moment.

“I could beat around the bush and pretend I don’t know what you’re really asking me but you’re not the type to drop this so I’ll answer you honestly.” Clint was rarely serious with his words, even when his actions were nothing but. Right now though, Clint’s steely gaze was trained on Steve and he had to wonder if the archer had been waiting for this conversation ever since Steve had moved in. “You and I both know how powerful Tony is, how dangerous he could become- No, let me finish.”

Steve snapped his jaw shut. He could let his displeasure be known at the end of Clint’s answer just as easily he supposed.

“Tony’s trying to protect everyone by staying away. It’s what he’s always done. He rides the edge, yeah, but he’s never fallen over it completely. Whatever methods he’s using to keep control are working for him and if he’d rather not tempt fate by staying away from others, well, maybe… Maybe that’s for the best.” Clint’s words got quieter as he spoke until his last admission was almost a whisper, as if the universe would reach down and punish him for going against his own nature and turning his back on a Sentinel. He knew that wasn’t fair on Clint but neither was what was happening to Tony.

Steve had been frowning before Clint had even finished speaking but once he had, Steve was positively furious.

“Maybe,” Steve pushed out between clenched teeth, “or maybe Tony’s just doing what he thinks everyone wants him to. Maybe he’s forced himself to cope alone because he thinks no one would take the chance to help him anyway. _Maybe_ it should have been his teammates, some of the only people in the world that could hold their own against him even if he did lose control, that showed him that he isn’t the monster the world makes him out to be!”

Steve gasped as his chest clenched tight in a way he hadn’t felt since his asthma days, filled with sympathetic pain for what Tony must feel. His Grey Wolf rubbed his head against his leg and Steve lowered a hand to dig his fingers into the long fur as he tried to catch his breath.

It was the wrong thing to do.

What Steve had thought was an intense emotional pain was actually his soul crying out for Tony, unaccepting of the thought that Tony had been alone so very long, that the people that surrounded him could be so oblivious to what Tony needed, that Steve himself could have been so God damn blind that he hadn’t seen what was right in front of his face.

The team wasn’t actively pushing Tony away, although their caution around him was real, and he wasn’t staying away because he thought that’s what people wanted, even if that was what he believed anyway.

No, Tony had spent countless years of his life hiding away from the world because he was overwhelmingly terrified of himself.

“I have to go,” Steve slurred, the world around him becoming _more_. He could feel sand whipping against his skin, carried along on a scorching breeze, coarse enough to break skin. The sounds here were nothing like those of his first trip to the spirit world either, thunder rumbled from nearby, too close and there was no sound of water to lead him to safety, just dry desert as far as he could see and the clicking sound of insects too foreign to name.

His Grey Wolf wasn’t there, no guide to guide the Guide. Steve laughed and then he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t breathe.

“Steve.”

The wind spoke. How could air have a voice?

“C’mon, Cap. C’mon back.”

That- That wasn’t right. Cap. Cap wasn’t him, that wasn’t who he was.

“No. No! Steve. Sorry, I’m sorry. Steve.”

Steve. Was that him? He thought it might be.

He was on his knees, his fingers dug deep into the sand. How far down did it go? If he kept on pushing down down down dow-

It’s colder as you go down. He didn’t like the cold. Cold would swallow you up tighter than the sand.

Can’t breathe can’t breathe can’t-

“I’ve got you. C’mon Steve, I’ve got you. Open your eyes for me.”

Maybe he was Steve. Should he do what the wind tells him?

He didn’t know he’d closed his eyes until he’d opened them. There was water now, a lake- no. Not in the desert.

An oasis.

It wasn’t far. If he stood up, he’d be there in a few steps. He was tired though and he hurt. He was alone, he was alone and no one was coming for him. Where was Wolf? Where was Tony?

Tony.

Tony.

Tony.

“Tony,” his voice was as dry as the desert that surrounded him. His skin was blistering under the heat of the sun already. How long had he been here?

“Yeah, Steve. Tony. C’mon Sweetheart. Need you to find your way out of there.”

Find his way out? There were no doors here. No buildings. No way out.

He shook his head and pushed his arms a little further down into the sand. The cold was known. The heat was not. He’d survived the cold hadn’t he?

“No. Water, Steve. Shit he’s so deep. Can’t you do anything?”

The wind wasn’t making sense and he wanted to laugh again but the pain was getting worse. No air for laughter.

No air for anything.

Something prodded his back and he turned expecting to see grey but instead got reddish brown. Soft.

Oh, that was his hand. The fur was warm but the teeth were sharp. They didn’t hurt though, just nipped a little before letting go. The animal pushed him again.

Not a wolf. A coyote. Would he lead the way out?

He couldn’t stand, his legs were sinking but maybe he didn’t have to. Maybe if he just reached forward.

His fingertips grazed the tips of grass but it wasn’t enough.

“You can do this, I know you can do this. Come on Steve. Please.”

The coyote yipped as if he knew how close he was to just giving up.

“Steve.”

Steve.

There were more animals around now. Birds, a fox, a lynx and the coyote.

Why were they in the desert?

“Please.”

The coyote pushed his head against him and left it there. The heat seeped through his clothes, his skin. Deeper.

He didn’t like the cold.

He dug his hand into the sand once more but this time he pulled. He dragged his body forwards and forwards and then his hand didn’t touch sand.

It touched water.

Steve gasped as wind and sand rushed over his face, blinding him but once it was gone he saw there was no desert, only the broken up floor of the gym. His hands and arms were covered in cuts, shallow and deep, as if he’d torn the floor up with his bare hands.

As awareness returned, Steve realised that was exactly what he had done.

“Steve,” his name was choked out and Steve turned his head towards the voice to find Tony.

 _Tony_. Oh God, how could he have ever forgotten.

“Tony,” his throat was still dry, his voice raspy as it came out.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m here.”

Behind Tony, Steve could see the rest of the Avengers, worry clear on their faces but he had no energy to make them feel better right now. He was slumped against Tony, like the man had been cradling Steve against his chest as soon as Steve had been far enough back from the spirit world to safely move him. As if only now noticing the position himself, Tony started to pull back but Steve wasn’t having any of that, not now. Not after Tony had just risked his own life by dropping his shields enough to communicate with Steve while he was in the spirit world.

Steve wrapped his arms around Tony’s chest and pushed his face into the other man’s neck inhaling deeply the smell of oil and metal. No coffee at the moment. Maybe Tony would let him buy him one after they finished the talk they were about to have.

Tony hesitated for just a second before wrapping his own arms tightly around Steve, nuzzling his nose into Steve’s hair.

“C’mon guys, we’re not needed here right now. Come find us when you’re ready, Steve. I’ll explain things as much as I can until then,” Clint said before ushering the others away and out of the gym until it was just Steve and Tony wrapped up in each other.

They were silent for several long minutes. Steve was still coming back to himself and he wouldn’t be quite all there until his Grey Wolf found him again. His spirit animal had drifted away while most of his soul had been in the spirit world. Not completely though or Steve would never have made it back, no matter how hard Tony pulled and wow was Tony strong. They weren’t Bonded, Tony’s Coyote shouldn’t have been able to find Steve in the spirit world when he was lost like that, when his own Grey Wolf couldn’t find him, let alone guide the rest of the team’s spirit animals to them.

Against the odds, it was Tony who spoke first.

“So, you want to tell me what happened? I’ve never seen a Guide fall so far into the spirit world. We almost didn’t get you back.” Tony squeezed Steve a little tighter and Steve responded in kind.

“I’m alright.”

“Now, yeah. But you weren’t. What the Hell happened Steve? You’re one of the most disciplined people I know, there’s no way that should have been possible, not with the team around. I thought- I thought you were doing okay.”

“I was. I am.” Steve shook his head a little, happy to find it didn’t start spinning. “You mean like how you’re okay because the team’s around?” It was a low blow really, Steve knew that but he had to force Tony to talk about this. It would be too easy to let him focus on Steve right now. Plus, Steve really didn’t want to have to explain why he’d entered a fugue state to begin with.

“That’s- I’m fine. Better than fine. Who’s telling you different?”

“I know you better than you think,” Steve said, smoother now as the serum healed his hoarse throat. The lines across his arms became shallower as he watched. Tony ran a thumb alongside one, as gently as one would caress a newborn.

“You could have bled out, Steve. All it would have taken was the right angle, the right depth. The serum can’t heal everything. We could have gotten back your soul only to lose your body.”

“But you didn’t, and I really am alright. Thank you, Tony. For getting me out of there. I know that couldn’t have been easy for you.”

“It was the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

Steve’s inhale was audible, no enhanced senses required.

He let out the breath against the skin of Tony’s neck and didn’t miss the shiver it caused.

“You’ve been alone a long time, Tony. I don’t know how you manage it,” Steve said eventually.

“You mean you don’t know how I maintain control without a Guide around twenty-four seven?” Tony asked, his voice harsh and his body tense.

“No, I don’t mean that. I mean how do you deal with the loneliness of it? I can’t… I’ve been here, in this time, for a while now but sometimes I still feel alone. Like no one really knows who I am, like no one really cares that they don’t. How can you feel like that and then keep on choosing to live like that?”

Steve leaned back a bit until he could see the tumble of emotion in Tony’s beautiful brown eyes. Once their eyes caught, Steve had a second where he thought he was back in the spirit world. The room seemed to fall away from them and suddenly he could read Tony like he was Steve’s first language. Fear and doubt and relief and hope, all mixed up until Tony was wrapped in knots over all the feelings he’d never wanted anyone to see.

Tony didn’t look away as he replied.

“You keep telling yourself that it’s necessary, that what you’re doing is saving lives. You’re protecting people.”

“But that’s not true-”

“Of course it is.”

“No, Tony, it’s not. Listen to me. You’ve gone this long starved of everything that could help you cope with your abilities and you still haven’t broken under the weight of them. Being around people would only help you to do that. Being around us would help you to stay balanced.”

“It’s too dangerous. _I’m_ too dangerous, Steve. Anything could set off a Sentinel with as high a rank as me, you know that. It wouldn’t matter how good my shields are. It’s best to minimise exposure as much as possible. I have meds that help me get through any off site work stuff I have to attend and the suit protects me when we’re Avenging.”

“But you don’t have to deal with everything alone. I thought everyone was keeping their distance from you because they were scared but I was wrong. They’ve been staying away because they thought they were making it easier on you. You were trying to stay away from them, so they gave you your space, left you alone but you’re all wrong. That isn’t what you need, Tony.”

“You can’t possibly know what I need.” Tony practically spat out the words but his hands were gentle as they cradled Steve’s face, his thumbs running across where his laughter lines would be at the corner of his eyes, if the serum didn’t take care of that sort of thing. “You don’t know what it’s like, to know that one stray smell or loud sound or shiny object could capture my mind to the point that all my senses open up and I lose myself. Worse, I could have a bad reaction to the input and while I’m lost, I could rampage through streets and buildings and _people_ without having a clue what I’m doing. If I can avoid that possibility by being alone, isn’t it my duty to do so?”

“You deserve a life just like everyone else, just like the other True Sentinels and just like all the Guides back in my time who were simply viewed as a tool to keep Sentinels in check. What you’re doing at the moment isn’t living. It’s barely even surviving.” Steve needed him to understand that there was a better way, that he had the option to take it if he wanted to. That he wouldn’t be alone if he took that path.

“I know you think you’ve got everything figured out but it’s still my choice,” Tony said and that had to be in response to Steve’s determination; he was probably projecting it to the whole neighbourhood. “When I have a problem, I ask for help. I can’t afford to let my ego get in the way of that when lives are on the line. You or Clint are usually nearby and when you’re not, JARVIS always is. There a protocols in place.”

“Medicine? Computer protocols? I know JARVIS is special but he can’t stroke your hair or hold your hand to give you something outside of your mind to focus on.”

“We have sound stimuli in place and contingency plans if that doesn’t work.”

It was like talking to a brick wall, if each brick was an answer ready and waiting to be thrown back at Steve no matter what question he posed. He was going to have to try something else.

“You asked me what pushed me into the spirit world untethered?” Steve asked and Tony nodded hesitantly, no doubt wary of the sudden change of topic. “It was you.”

Steve let Tony panic for a moment, the signs of distress clear on his friend’s face. He wasn’t being cruel, just a little underhanded.

“I owe you an apology, Tony. I’m sorry it took me so long to see the pain you’re in.” Tony didn’t say a word but that didn’t matter, Steve wasn’t finished. “I’m sorry I was too wrapped up in myself to notice why you’re in pain.”

Steve took a deep breath and hoped Tony wasn’t about to push Steve off him and storm out of the room and straight into his workshop. He took faith from the fact that he hadn’t done so already.

“I know you’re scared you’ll lose control, I know you’re terrified of exactly how bad it could be if you do but Tony, you’re stronger than you know and I don’t mean Sentinel wise. Look at what you’ve survived, look at what you’ve accomplished. Look at what you’ve done today. God, Tony, you saved my life. I could have been swept away by my own idiocy but instead you caught me and pulled me back to shore. No one else could have done that. I reckon I’m just about strong enough that I could have pulled you in too, you must have known that and still you lowered your shields in order to reach me, to bring me home.

“You are a good man, Tony Stark. Even if I believe that you’re capable of hurting someone during sensory overload, which I don’t, there are so many people who would be stood in your corner, ready to help you deal with that if you just let them in.”

Tony’s face found Steve’s hair again. Not that Steve minded one bit, quite the contrary. He was going to enjoy every second of this, no matter how painful it was going to be when Tony finally moved away.

“Clint didn’t call me you know. Or JARVIS. I just knew. I knew you were in danger and that I could help, that you needed me. That’s all there was to it. I don’t know how I knew… But I can guess.”

Steve barely dared to hope but Tony was right there, holding him in his arms and telling him that he’d rushed to Steve’s rescue like a knight in shining armour. It was almost too much, too perfect, except it was meant to be perfect wasn’t it?

“You knew I was in danger,” Steve said slowly.

“Yeah,” Tony murmured against Steve’s forehead. His lips were dry but to Steve it was the most welcome touch of his life so far.

“Without anyone telling you,” Steve went on, desperate for confirmation.

“Yeah.”

“We’re- We’re a match. Aren’t we,” Steve asked but it wasn’t really a question.

One of Tony’s calloused hands slid under Steve’s chin and raised his head until it was at the perfect height for Tony to rest his forehead against Steve’s. Steve couldn’t really hold Tony’s eyes now and he missed the view immediately, although the feel of Tony’s breath on his lips was rapidly taking over his mind so he wasn’t missing them for too long.

“Yeah,” Tony whispered before leaning forward just enough to press their lips together in the sweetest of kisses. Steve barely had enough time to feel the touch before Tony was moving away again. Steve placed his hands on Tony’s shoulders. Ready to keep him close if he tried to move too far away but it was for nothing anyway. Tony only move back far enough to speak without his lips brushing Steve’s.

“You taste like blueberry pie. How is that even possible? I’ve always wondered and now I know.” Tony closed his eyes and licked his lips and if Tony didn’t kiss him again in the next three seconds, Steve was going to take matters into his own hands. “I’ve known,” Tony started and curiosity kept Steve from acting on his desires, “that we could be a match from the beginning. I’m sorry I didn’t… But you knew too huh?”

Steve nodded, his voice stolen away by the moment.

“I still don’t think I should be around anyone when I don’t have to be but you’re right Steve, it hurts to be alone and I’m so tired of hurting.”

Instead of answering, Steve leaned forward and echoed the kiss Tony had given him. As much as he would love to take and taste and devour Tony until they were both keening and desperate, Tony was trusting him here. He would take what Tony gave him because that was what Tony wanted him to have. It wasn’t a test but an experiment, Steve supposed, on whether Steve could accept that Tony might only be able to share so much sometimes, maybe all the time. Saying that Tony’s senses were sensitive was the understatement of understatements. Even if Steve and Tony Bonded (Oh Lord, that could be a possibility now) there was no guarantee that Tony could handle everything Steve wanted to share with him.

Steve smiled and reached up to place his palm over Tony’s on the side of his face.

“The thought of you alone and in pain made me so distressed that my spirit animal, my soul,  tried to get to you. The sensation put me right on the edge and then when my Grey Wolf tried to comfort me and I touched him, the need for spiritual connection, my soul’s desire to find you, pushed me into the spirit world. Part of me was there and part of me was here, searching for you. I think- I think I found you, I think that’s how you knew, how your Coyote was able to find me in the spirit world.”

“You realise this means it was all my fault, right?” Tony said and Steve could hear the smirk in it, even if he couldn’t see it.

“Don’t be an idiot, Tony. We’ve both done enough of that to last us a lifetime.”

“A lifetime huh? I don’t think we could make it without doing something stupid.”

“Are you angling for a bet here?” Steve asked, lips twitching with amusement as happiness fluttered through his chest.

A warm brush against his back let him know that his Grey Wolf had returned to him and he watched as the Wolf then went over to Tony and did the same to him. Laughter bubbled up and out of Steve and Tony’s look of shock soon changed into awe as he watched Steve laugh. Steve himself had never felt so free, so _happy_. He reached a hand out and ever so carefully ran a finger along the Coyote’s forehead.

Before he could think twice about the move, Tony swept him up in a kiss that melted his bones and reshaped his heart. When they did eventually separate, the need for oxygen overriding their need for each other, Tony looked thoroughly debauched and Steve imagined he looked no better himself. It was a good look on Tony, that was for sure.

“I think a bet is a good idea but of course that means keeping you around for a lifetime,” Tony said and Steve slapped his chest and _giggled_.

“I can’t believe you actually said it. You’re such a goof,” Steve gasped but Tony only smiled and brushed a hand through Steve’s hair.

“A match doesn’t have to mean anything you know,” Tony said quietly, like he wasn’t sure if he even wanted to be heard. Steve did hear though and responded by curling himself into Tony once again, this time pressing soft kisses into Tony’s neck, sucking the skin there a little when Tony bent his neck to give him better access.

“This one means everything to me,” Steve said, finally looking up into those soft brown eyes that he loved so much. He could put a word to his feelings now, his affection and admiration, his need to see Tony happy. He’d been so sure it would lead nowhere that he’d locked it away but it had still been there, waiting. Love.

There were tears in Tony’s eyes and Steve wasn’t sure what happened until his Sentinel pressed soft kisses all the way down from his forehead to the tip of his nose, landing finally on his lips which he mouthed at a few times before urging Steve to open his mouth and then it was hot and deep and everything Steve had been wanting for so long. Connection.

“I love you too,” Tony said and they smiled at each other like two fools in love and Steve didn’t even care.

He took one last look out into the space around them, his eyes unerringly falling on his Grey Wolf and Tony’s Coyote. They were as intertwined as their human counterparts and the sight settled something in Steve that he hadn’t even realised had still been waiting.

There was so much they still needed to talk about. Tony’s issues were far from resolved and the way the team had handled things would have to be addressed eventually but right now, sat on the cold hard floor of the Tower’s gym, surrounded by rubble and wrapped safely in each other's arms, Steve knew none of that would feel like a battle either.

Besides, he thought as he nuzzled his way back under Tony’s chin, much to his Sentinel’s amusement, if the prize was Tony, he’d fight whatever came his way.

A lifetime was a long time to go without trouble after all.

~fin~

**Author's Note:**

> So, I might write a sequel where Steve actually says welcome home to Tony. Or, you know, just _welcomes him home_. ;)
> 
> Kudos and comments are love!


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